Like many others, I have become enchanted by the series Love on the spectrum. If you haven’t yet seen it, it follows a number of young men and women who are on the autism spectrum as they date and find love. Being on the spectrum they lack the social filters those who are neuro-typical have. They say what is on their mind and their feelings are strong and on display. Not having the typical filters, they don’t manipulate or play games with their feelings. When they listen they take the time to really listen before responding honestly. They sit in their uncomfortable silences. Like all of us, they want to love and be loved. My friend said these are the real indigo children. I believe that is very likely true.
Right now in Sonoma the fruit trees are in blossom. It’s a joy to see new life emerging after the long winter. This april, rather than write an essay, I want to share my bliss with you with as few words as possible.
As someone who has been meditating for over 50 years you might think I have it down. But I’ve never felt complacent in my practice. Struggles come and go. Now, as my emotions are at an all- time high in reaction to events in the world, when I most need them to be stable, meditation sometimes feels more like a wrestling match with a demon than a moment of bliss. When I sit down to meditate these days all sorts of uninvited guests commandeer my quiet. Yet after a meditation session, when I am able to watch the uncomfortable emotions come and go, things settle down. This new peace does not come from avoiding the demons but from sitting with them and allowing them to be part of my experience. They do not really exist so they dissolve.
In the past eighteen years I’ve written a dharma essay each month and sent it out to my readers. My intention in writing is to be of service, especially during trying times like these. Those in power are purposely trying to overwhelm us in order to create confusion and inactivity. Our challenge is to take ourselves in hand and re-regulate our nervous systems. In this vein I’d like to share a list of things that have been helpful to me.
The barn burned down, now I see the moon
Mizuta Masahide
When the barn is burning
And animals scatter
Sweep up the motes of star dust
Free from form now
Cradle the frightened animals
And don’t forget to look up at the silvery moon
Even more radiant in the darker dark
And remember who you are
On Tuesday night I was awoken by dry hurricane force winds, what I’ve come to know as fire winds. These are the winds that spearheaded the Sonoma fires that burnt to the north, south and east of my home in 2017. I didn’t lose my home but easily could have. I know others who have lost homes, art, possessions and livelihoods. There are still remnants of these fires on the hills years later. This was a time that brought out mostly the best in the people of my community, sincere gratitude for the first responders, spontaneous urges to offer help and supplies to those in need. It woke us from our sleep walk and we came together as a community. I see the same thing happening in LA.
