Epstein's secret Power

In the 80s and 90s I had the privilege of working as a professional singer. During the days I sang in nursing homes through a program put on by the local junior college and on weekends I put together various gigs and sang with a 16 piece big band. As a big band singer I would walk up to the microphone and sing for about 2 minutes then sit back down on my perch and watch the dancers for 15 or so minutes between songs. I never tired of watching partners glide around the floor. Some dancers were tentative, some excited, in their courtship dance.  Some dancers had been moving together for 30, 40 or 50 years and knew each other so well that their bodies fit together in the most intimate way. What a blessing to witness these moments of connection and love, I never tired of it.  

Hiring a band that has over 16 musicians is expensive. Some groups afforded us by gathering their resources together, as in spaghetti feeds at veteran’s halls. The wealthy could afford to hire us for smaller gatherings like corporate events or country club parties. From my perch I watched them all and was struck by the varied enjoyment levels of each group. The amount of joy on the dance floor seemed to be in direct proportion to the wealth of the patrons. What I noticed, over and over again, was that the wealthier the patrons the less fun they seemed to be having.  The spaghetti feeds were joyous events with packed dance floors and deeply appreciative clients letting go and fully enjoying their night out. The least joyful events were groups of wealthy people who appeared more concerned about appearances than having fun. They were more somber, more uptight, less free. I often thought to myself, while up there quietly observing, that I would much prefer to live in the spaghetti feed world. They had less money, less power, less access to material things, but they knew how to enjoy the moments of their lives.

There is the notion that everything you desire will be at your fingertips when you have great wealth and power.  But Joy arises in the small moments of everyday life, not in large acquisitions of power and money. Money and power cannot deliver laughter, sensuality, love and connectivity. I imagine it’s a strain to feel like you have to always hustle, always watch your back and present an image in order to stay on top. What a drag of vital energy to always be angling and keeping separate from others in order to justify the imbalance, convincing yourself that you are better than others, smarter, more worthy and that’s why you have more resources and power. The myth of being better than others leads to the notion that the rules do not apply to you. But entitlement is a lonely stance.  Life is so much juicier and richer when dancing, eye to eye, with others, being comfortable with imperfections, being part of a large diverse community, being loved for who you are not for what you have or who you know. This stressful superiority psychology makes the believer vulnerable to con games like the one Jeffery Epstein played. He offered his wealthy network, not all wealthy people but the ones who didn’t know how to be touched by others, the illusion of something their money could not buy.

Greed and ego are remarkably strong and can whisper in the ear of even the most evolved and intelligent amoung us. Even spiritual teachers have succumbed to this hunger to gain more power, money and/or sex. A sense of entitlement makes one, not safer, but more vulnerable. Any shadow hidden is a shadow that can be exploited. Epstein knew how to exploit this vulnerability. This is not to say that all wealthy people are unhappy and people with less are better human beings. There is a full range all along the spectrum of wealth and poverty and we are all vulnerable to feeling entitled.   But it is harder for those whose dysfunction is working for them, who are living a life of luxury, to give up acquisitiveness for a larger freedom. As the bible puts it in Matthew 19:23-26, I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

We humans have a tendency to project our shadow onto others and think they are the problem. But that gets us nowhere. When I consider how difficult it was for me to give up my Amazon account, one of my entitlements, I get a glimpse of how difficult it must be for the ultra-wealthy to relinquish their enormous salaries, tax breaks and all the perks that go along with this large pile of money they sit on like dragons guarding their stash. We like to think we would never act with the level of entitlement exhibited by Jeffrey Epstein’s enablers but we are all capable of the greatest and the lowest of human behavior.